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The secret that almost killed me

I remember not long after my abortion in 2012, that I was driving down the road and saw a bumper sticker that said "God knew you before he formed you in the womb"....I instantly felt sorrow for the first time since that decision. I was always against abortion and yet I found myself in a situation where I made a choice that I would not be able to live with. After learning about local support groups that were faith based, I was able to learn that I had a right to grieve my child. I found out that in heaven there is no sadness. All that time I thought about ending my life because I didn't want to go to heaven and face that baby, only to realize that I would never have to say I am sorry. I would only get to say I love you. It was the freeing knowledge that saved my life.


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I actually thought for a moment in my life that going to hell might be better than facing the baby I decided to abort. I just kept playing out in my mind what it would look like if I ever went to heav